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How To Survive The Holidays With Your Special Needs Child

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The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone. Those stresses can be even worse for children with special needs. Here are my tips on how to not just survive, but enjoy the holiday season.

Over Prepare

This is the time or the year for social stories and visual schedules.  My son Ross can become extremely anxious at new or unfamiliar places so we use these and other similar tools.  We also look at pictures of friends and relatives so he remembers they are not new and we look at pictures of holiday locations if they are available. Anything we can do to make events and places seem less unfamiliar we attempt to do.

Bring Everything, Or Close To It

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Beyond Climate Change: Why Greta Thunberg Matters For My Son

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Greta Thunberg is an amazing advocate for climate change. She is well spoken, passionate, knowledgeable, and will hopefully help to lead a worldwide movement to change our laws and policies and curb climate change. But that is not why she is important to my son. My son has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. His diagnostic report reads “he has what used to be called aspergers”. Like my son, Greta Thunberg also has aspergers.

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Four Reasons Why You Should Consider Being a Special Ed Room Parent

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The Messy Bun Life is excited to have Lara Sandora from Refresh share her reasons for being a special ed room parent with our community today as a guest blogger.

Why you should you consider being a special ed room parent?

Here are four great reasons to think about signing up to be a special ed room parent:

  • Because the other class already has one – or three: This is my fifth year as a room parent, for my third teacher, and in most cases, I am the first room parent the teacher has EVER had.  Even if I’m not the first, I know that someone in the class of 28 kids will volunteer to send out field trip reminders and sign-ups for class parties. I know that in our special class of six autistic boys everyone is stretched thin, but that investing in our teachers and staff in this way is important.  
  • Because special education staff can feel left out: Sped staff may be sent to IEP or safety training and miss the camaraderie of slogging through, um, I mean benefitting from, scintillating PD opportunities with the rest of their staff.  They may miss staff meetings to run IEPs or miss the staff luncheon because a kid has a meltdown. Providing special supports and treats can help staff feel more connected – and fostering school connection can play a role in reducing staff turnover in schools.  
  • Because you know what they want: You likely are walking your special needs kid into the classroom every day.  And picking them up. And maybe running over in the middle of the day with a change of clothes.  You are sitting in hours-long IEP meetings with the special ed staff. In other words, you know your child’s special education staff better than the teacher of your typical kid who you may just wave at a few times a week.  Use that knowledge to provide thoughtful supports – and treats.  
  • Because supporting sped staff shows them how much you appreciate them: No one knows how hard it is to raise a special needs child, except, perhaps, the dedicated professionals who help us raise them from 8 am to 3 pm for 180 days every year.  Studies show that sped kids are more likely to be sent to the office or sent home from school than typical kids. Do what you can to support and thank the staff for helping your child maintain in the classroom all day.  

Special Ed Room Parent Ideas:

So now that you’re considering being a special ed room parent, here are some ideas for what to do:

  • A basket of goodies: While most room parent gigs support one teacher, and maybe an aide, in the world of special education, there is a team.  A team approach makes everything possible – so remember that when you shop. I tend to make generous gift baskets, with many small denomination gift cards, individually wrapped themed items, and of course, some Color Street.
  • A baked treat: A loaf of something is always appreciated – again, a whole loaf allows for the entire crew to have a slice.  Throw in a coffee traveler from your favorite coffee shop and you have done a better job serving the team than showing up with a single latte in a paper sleeve.  
  • The ice cream bar – again flexible and customizable is key – and this one is great for the end of the year.  Include some non-dairy deliciousness like this from Haagen-Dazs, as well as a variety of toppings and cones, and you will have an appreciative staff.  (Bonus points if you happen to schedule this on a day the temperature soars!)

So I hope you’ll consider signing up to be a special ed room parent. Comment below if you have been one or plan to be one!

About The Guest Blogger

Lara Sandora helps busy women refresh their styles, their lives, and themselves.  She and her husband are both career public school educators who live in the San Francisco Bay Area.  Together they are raising two boys, the younger of whom is non-verbal autistic.  Her blog, Refresh, provides style tips, recipes and life hacks for busy women – particularly those who parent, educate or care for special needs children.  Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest, where she is busy planning her next vacation.  

Four Reasons Why You Should Consider Being a Special Ed Room Parent

About Our Guest Blogger

Why and How To Teach Your Child With Autism To Swim

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The Why

Swimming is a life skill. In our family learning to swim is not optional. My kids go to school, religious/Hebrew school, and swim lessons. Pretty much any activity other than those is optional. At some point a child will be around water and it is important for them to be safe. I breathed a sigh of relief when my oldest son could successfully fall in the water, roll to his back and float.

My oldest son has autism and for him swimming has been an especially useful activity. He had low core strength and swimming has helped to improve that. Ross learning to swim has also greatly increased his self confidence. He now has his sport. Swimming is the activity that he takes pride in and overall enjoys.

Find The Right Program and Instructor for YOUR Child

Now, getting to the point where Ross enjoyed swimming was a process. We tried swim lessons at three different places over the course of about two and a half years. Eventually we moved and decided to try our local JCC’s All in Swim program because that was where Ross was going to go to summer camp a few weeks later. It is a program that specializes in providing children with autism swimming lessons.

why and how to teach your child with autism to swim

When we started Ross was scared to go into the pool area. It was loud and smelled funny plus it had a swimming pool! The program uses social stories but mostly a lot of patience to get him in the pool area and eventually in the pool. Having a program and instructors that understood Ross’ unique challenges was so important to getting Ross comfortable in the water.

We have also switched instructors several times. We switched because of scheduling and teachers moving on to other jobs but each time it turned out to be a good thing. Having a new instructor seemed to refocus Ross. Having a new teacher with new expectations was good for him.

After Ross’ second teacher we also realized that he did better with a male teacher. A great swim program director can find a great teacher for your specific child so be sure to change instructors as neccesary and give any feedback (like needing a male instructor) to the director so your child can have the best instructor.

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10 Tips for Taking Your Autistic Child To Disney World

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.  Thank you for supporting my blog.

It’s time to go on vacation!  And what a fun place Disney World is to go.  Our oldest son Ross has autism and we have had several successful trips to Walt Disney World with him and his brothers.  We have learned a few things along the way and I hope you will find some of these tips and tricks helpful as you plan your trip.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

That may be the motto of every parent of a child with autism.  The more you can prepare yourself and your child for your trip the better.  One of my biggest concerns with my son was getting through the airport.  Our therapists prepared a visual schedule that walked Ross through the airport including potential pitfalls like putting his beloved stuffed panda bear on the conveyor belt to be screened.  We also looked at pictures of the hotel and bus to the hotel ahead of time so the Ross would know what it looked like.

In addition we spent a lot of time researching which attractions he would probably like.  While we let him and his brothers pick where they wanted to go we guided their choices knowing which attractions were the most likely to be successful.  We used the Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World and Disney World’s Attraction Details for Guests with Cognitive Disabilities to help us sort through the plethora of attractions at WDW.  This second guide is a chart that shows the length of a ride, element of surprise and various other features.  It is incredibly helpful to picking rides if you are new to the park.  Disney World also has a planning guide with lots of tips for planning your trip as well.

Calm and Regulate

Travelling can cause dysregulation.  Disney World can be loud and visually overstimulating.  We brought noise cancelling headphones for Ross including a pair that hooked up to blue tooth (Worktunes) so that if he needed to totally escape he could watch a movie through the ear phones.  These were awesome when he was just done and we were exiting the park or on the buses and monorail.  We also used a stroller with a large hood, the City Mini, where he could essentially hide from the visual over-stimulation that Disney often is.  Definitely also make sure to bring any other regulating tools such as fidgets and chewies that you usually use with you.

Keep Everything As Normal As Possible

This seems like a bit of an oxymoron for a vacation but the more that can stay the same as home the better.  The first year we went to Disney we brought Ross’ stroller from home.  The second time we rented the exact same model and prepped him that it might be a different color.  Knowing that it would be his usual stroller was very calming to him.  We also brought single serve milk boxes from home so that we were sure we could get his usual type, brought LEGOs that he loved and all our Captain Underpants books.

disney world tips

Get The Accommodations That You Need

Disney World offers a few great options for accommodations to help make your trip smoother.  The first is the Disability Access Pass.  Essentially instead of waiting in line you are able to check in at an attraction and get a return time.  You can then return anytime at or after the return time.  For us being able to return any time later in the day versus the two hour window of the Fast Pass was helpful in case Ross needed to take a break during the day.  To get a disability access pass you go to Disney World Guest Relations and they will walk you through the process.  The first time we went to Disney World I brought all our diagnostic paperwork but they never looked at it.  It turns out the program is need based and not based on any particular diagnoses.

We have also used the stroller as wheelchair tags.  It is helpful for Ross to stay in his stroller when he is starting to get overwhelmed or a little nervous and this tag allows the stroller to go wherever a wheelchair can.  For going through the airport there is the TSA Cares program.  We have not personally used it yet but those who have used the “walk through” program have found it very helpful.

Ask for Help

Disney cast members (what Disney calls all staff) can guide and help you and are always willing to do so.  If your child needs to take a break from it all just ask and they will direct you to the nearest break spot (these are also listed here).  Cast members can also assist in finding dietary options if your child has intolerances, allergies or other specialized needs.  The can also sometimes bend the rules a bit.  Our first trip we didn’t have a stroller as wheelchair tag (I didn’t know about it yet) but Ross couldn’t get out of his stroller due to anxiety at Chef Mickey’s.  I asked at the check in desk and they were able to switch our table to one that was able to accomnodate his stroller.

Do NOT have FOMO

I’m saying this to you, the parent or caregiver.  You are not missing out because you didn’t go on the newest ride and if you don’t tell your children how many characters or rides there are they won’t fear that they are missing out when they get tired and leave early.  Disney World is hard because you have to balance being relaxed and go with the flow with also needing to be well scheduled both because of the needs of your child and the necessity of the Disney Fastpass system and reservations.  Having FOMO (the fear of missing out on things) will not help you balance these already sometimes opposing needs.

Have a Plan B

Trips rarely go as planned.  Disney World is no exception.  Having a plan, or plans, in case your child turns out to be scared of Mickey Mouse (it happened to one of my twins the first time we went) or everyone is getting overheated is important.  The same goes for knowing your exit strategy.  When Ross is done for the day, he’s done.  Sensory overload is not easy to overcome after a point and it is not worth pushing it for us.  When that happened it was important to our family to know which parent would take him back to the hotel and for Ross to know too.  We have two other children who also needed to know that plan.

Find Something Your Child Will Love, Even If It Is Off The Beaten Path, And Stick To It

Somewhere deep in a Disney chat room I heard about the Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom attraction.  You check in at the Magic Kingdom firehouse, get playing cards (that you can also collect) and a map, and are then sent on quest to find various “portals” throughout the Magic Kingdom and eventually defeat a Disney villain.  It’s an amazing interactive treasure hunt full of Disney Magic.  Ross loved it!  He cared far more about finding the portals then going on Space Mountain or any other ride and although it wasn’t the “average” way to spend a good chunk of day at the Magic Kingdom it was tons of fun and it was great to see him engaged and excited.  I read a  blog post by someone whose autistic son only wanted to go on the Dumbo ride.  While the parent was a little bored he said he was happy that his son found something he really liked about Disney World so they stuck with it.  We did the same with Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom.  We searched all over the park for villains until it was time to go see Elena of Avalor, his other favorite!

Change Your Expectations

The first time we went to Disney Ross spent at least 75% of the time in the parks in his stroller.  He engaged far less than I expected (at least in the traditional, neurotypical sense) and seemed far less enthusiastic then his younger brothers.  But, he spent the next 12ish months talking about how great it was, telling stories and asking when we were going back.  I had expected him to engage in a particular, more traditional way but he engaged and enjoyed it in his own way.

Also, from a caregiver perspective accept that you will likely come home far more exhausted than we left.  I like to remind my husband (when he whines about vacation being tiring) that “it’s a trip not a vacation” for the parents sometimes.  While Disney World is awesome there is a lot of work involved!

I hope you have an amazing trip to Disney World!  I’d love to have you join our email list, and you’ll even get a free IEP worksheet when you join!

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The Best Lunch Boxes for Back To School

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase on one of these back to school essentials for special needs children.  Thank you for supporting my blog.

Back to school time is so fun!  While many supplies are dictated by the school and teacher lunch boxes are not.  That makes picking out the perfect lunch box a great place to show your child’s personality while still having a functional lunch box.  These are my favorites:

Best Bento Box

Bento Boxes are a great way to portion food while avoiding unnecessary packaging (that is not only wasteful but also sometimes frustrating for children)  My favorite on is the Bentgo Box.  It has large enough compartments to fit a normal amount of food, it is well insulated and comes in fun colors and patterns that kids will actually like.

Best Stainless Steel Box

For those that don’t like plastic there is an awesome steel bento box for you.  It’s from LunchBots and is available in several colors and with different numbers of compartments depending on your needs.

Best Lunch Box Price

This one was also in the running for cutest!  But, this  Skip Hop lunch bag is also affordably priced at less than $9.00 and it is super durable and well insulated.  While we have never had this exact version (none of my boys wanted something with unicorns)  we had the monkey version for several years and it never showed any wear and tear.  It is not huge and as my son got bigger he needed a bigger lunch box.  While this is solidly a preschool lunchbox and not an elementary school lunchbox it is a great, affordable option.

Cutest Lunch Box

Want something unique and adorable?  This one’s for you.  This donut lunch box is well insulated and big enough to fit a full lunch and thermos even though it doesn’t have a middle!

Best Minecraft Box

Yes, this is a category.  I have a seven year old boy who NEEDS minecraft everything including everything at lunch… of course we have a minecraft thermos too.  Some of them I have found to be a little too flimsy but I love his Thermos creeper soft lunch box.  It is also well insulated and easily cleanable when everything spills (because it will eventually)

Best Soft Lunch Box

If space is limited or you just prefer a soft container for your child’s lunch then my pick is the Goprene insulated lunch box.  This pack stay cools, is easily cleaned and is cute too.


Don’t Forget to Label!

My oldest was not the only one in his class with that minecraft lunch box and of course my twins insist on having the same lunchbox so we definitely label all their lunch boxes and everything in it.  For the box itself we find Mabel’s Label’s Small Rectangle Labels work well and for the stuff inside (water bottles, etc).  the Tag Mates work well.  While the tag mates are technically for clothes tags they definitely stick to the kid’s small stuff too (yay for multitasking products!)

I hope you found a lunch box your little one will love!  For more back to school info check out my essentials for special needs children and IEP tips.

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