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Autism Spectrum Disorder

What Going To Disney World With My Autistic Son Taught Me About Parenting

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My oldest son, Ross, has autism.  He was diagnosed when he was 3 and is now a happy, thriving 6 year old who just started kindergarten.  Last spring we took my son with autism to Disney World.  My Husband, my boys, my mother and father in law, my sister in law and her husband and I all headed to Orlando to go on a new adventure to Disney World.  This adventure  went far better than I had expected.  Honestly, I had set very low expectations for the trip and especially for how much Ross was going to like it.  I was pleasantly surprised by how engaged my son was and how much he liked Disney World, especially Magic Kingdom and Epcot.  I was also surprised by what I learned as a parent and how it changed how I parent all three of my boys.

It’s Hard To Accept That He Is Different, But I Need To

I think Ross spent 75% of the time in Disney World in his stroller.  Most of that time he had noise cancelling headphones on and Netflix videos were playing through the bluetooth in the headphones for part of that.  BUT, he loved it.  A few years ago I would have prodded him to get out of the stroller and experience the parks the same way my neurotypical boys do.  I would have tried to get him to go on rides or see more movies and he probably would have melted down.  He was actually quite happy sitting in his stroller, looking around, hopping out for the occasional character.  He also became obsessed with trading pins.  This was the perfect activity for him and actually didn’t end up as terribly expensive as I expected.   In the last three years I have had to learn to accept that he will experience things in his own way and that he enjoys things in his own way.  He still talks about how amazing his trip to Disney World was and I’m glad I got over myself and let him decide how he wanted to experience it.

Being a Little Pushy is Ok

On our third day in Disney World the kids, my husband and I had reservations to Chef Mickey’s restaurant at the Contemporary Hotel.  When we got there we discovered that strollers had to be parked outside and there was no way that Ross was getting out of his stroller.  Ross was over stimulated from the parks and on the verge of melting down all the time but was also super excited to have brunch with Mickey.  We were at an impasse.  I had gone up to the desk when we arrived and asked if  strollers were allowed and they said no.  In desperation I asked my husband if we should just go and explain the situation.  I always fear being too pushy or asking too much but he doesn’t fear these things at all.  So he asked if we could bring the stroller for Ross in and explained his situation and they said yes.  My fear of being pushy or of judgement had always stopped Ross from being able to go in to what became his favorite part of Disney.  Note: I later found out you can get a “Stroller as a Wheelchair” pass for Disney and could have avoided the whole situation.

(Sometimes) IDGAF

As Dua Lipa says, “I don’t give a f***”.  Ok, maybe I do a little but I’m trying to care less.  Back to that third day at Disney and we got a table with a wheelchair spot at Chef Mickey’s and all was fine.  Ross doesn’t like many new foods so was totally uninterested in eating.  He sat in his stroller with the hood up and his headphones on.  And people looked and, at least in my head, they judged.   

So I took a deep breath and decided that IDGAF.  This happened more than once in the course of the trip.  From choosing bubbles over characters to melting down when someone cut in the water slide line I decided to take the approach that IDGAF what others thought.  I was going to help my sons have the best vacation possible and not let others bother me.

I Need to Ask For Help

Perhaps the biggest thing I learned at Disney that made me a better parent was that I need to ask for help.  I tend to try to do it all.  Whether it was asking for help from Disney cast members or from my in-laws (they watched the kids several nights so my husband and I could have dinner alone) we could not have made it through Disney without lots of support.  When I got back to the “real world” I tried to remember this lesson and ask for help because it’s definitely a lot easier.

This article was originally entitled “What Going To Disney World With My Autistic Son Taught Me About Special Needs Parenting” but I think all of these parenting lessons I learned taking my son with autism to Disney World apply just as much to my neurotypical children as my son with autism. 

Feel free to reach out to me if you need help navigating Disney World with an autistic son or daughter.  Be sure to check out my article on being an autism mom and grab your free IEP worksheet by signing up for my newsletter below too.

What going To Disney World Taught Me About Parenting

5 Great Books for Parents of Kids with Autism

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.  Thank you for supporting my blog.

My spunky, fun and incredibly intelligent almost 6 year old also has Autism Spectrum Disorder.  I’ve read a fair number of books about autism and related symptoms a these are the five I found the most helpful in learning about the disorder as it pertains to our family.

Autism Spectrum Disorder by Chantal Sicile-Kira

Autism Spectrum Disorder is very much a handbook on autism.  It is a great starting place if you or a love one is newly diagnosed because it defines the main terms, treatments and interventions that are commonly associated with autism.

The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock

The title of The Out of Sync Child says it is for coping with sensory processing disorder but lots of children and adults on the autism spectrum also have sensory processing issues  This book gives a great explanation of sensory processing and where it can go wrong  It also gives advice on treating sensory problems as well as coping with problems at home and in school.
Books about autism

Bonus Book: The Out of Sync Child Has Fun

The Out of Sync Child Has Fun is an amazing resource for activities that engage and regulate the senses.  It is organized by sense (vestibular, auditory, etc.) and then by sensory-related skills (oral-motor, motor planning, etc.) for easy reference if you are looking to work on a particular skill with your child.  I have used activities from this book regularly with all three kids so it is definitely a resource for parents of neurotypical children as well.
Books about autism

The Explosive Child by Ross Greene

The Explosive Child was a game changer in how I looked at the behaviors of all three of my children.  I started thinking of what i’d previously thought of as behavioral problems as what Greene called, “logging skilss and unsolved problems”.  Starting there I could work on these lagging skills and unsolved problems and solve the behavior.  This is a must read for any parent of a child, autistic or not, that have meltdowns, get frustrated or otherwise “misbehave”….so, pretty much all kids at some point or another.

Books about autism

The Sensory Child Gets Organized

In full disclosure, I’m not very organized and I didn’t really prioritize being organized.  The Sensory Child Get Organized helped me develop realize I needed to prioritize developing organizational system for my son with Autism and gave me practical ideas in how to do it.  This book literally goes room by room and tells you how to create spaces that are ideal for kids with sensory kids.
Books about autism

Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin

Thinking in Pictures is an amazing book by an absolutely an amazing woman.  The combination of her scientific knowledge and first person knowledge on autism leads to a fascinating book.  If you read just one first person narrative by someone with autism this should be it.  It really helped me understand what it felt like to be on the autism spectrum.

Books about autism

I hope you find some of these books interesting or helpful! What other books have you found helpful on your journey as a parent of a child with autism?  Let me know in the comments.

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How To Survive The Holidays With Your Special Needs Child

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The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone. Those stresses can be even worse for children with special needs. Here are my tips on how to not just survive, but enjoy the holiday season.

Over Prepare

This is the time or the year for social stories and visual schedules.  My son Ross can become extremely anxious at new or unfamiliar places so we use these and other similar tools.  We also look at pictures of friends and relatives so he remembers they are not new and we look at pictures of holiday locations if they are available. Anything we can do to make events and places seem less unfamiliar we attempt to do.

Bring Everything, Or Close To It

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Beyond Climate Change: Why Greta Thunberg Matters For My Son

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Greta Thunberg is an amazing advocate for climate change. She is well spoken, passionate, knowledgeable, and will hopefully help to lead a worldwide movement to change our laws and policies and curb climate change. But that is not why she is important to my son. My son has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. His diagnostic report reads “he has what used to be called aspergers”. Like my son, Greta Thunberg also has aspergers.

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Why and How To Teach Your Child With Autism To Swim

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The Why

Swimming is a life skill. In our family learning to swim is not optional. My kids go to school, religious/Hebrew school, and swim lessons. Pretty much any activity other than those is optional. At some point a child will be around water and it is important for them to be safe. I breathed a sigh of relief when my oldest son could successfully fall in the water, roll to his back and float.

My oldest son has autism and for him swimming has been an especially useful activity. He had low core strength and swimming has helped to improve that. Ross learning to swim has also greatly increased his self confidence. He now has his sport. Swimming is the activity that he takes pride in and overall enjoys.

Find The Right Program and Instructor for YOUR Child

Now, getting to the point where Ross enjoyed swimming was a process. We tried swim lessons at three different places over the course of about two and a half years. Eventually we moved and decided to try our local JCC’s All in Swim program because that was where Ross was going to go to summer camp a few weeks later. It is a program that specializes in providing children with autism swimming lessons.

why and how to teach your child with autism to swim

When we started Ross was scared to go into the pool area. It was loud and smelled funny plus it had a swimming pool! The program uses social stories but mostly a lot of patience to get him in the pool area and eventually in the pool. Having a program and instructors that understood Ross’ unique challenges was so important to getting Ross comfortable in the water.

We have also switched instructors several times. We switched because of scheduling and teachers moving on to other jobs but each time it turned out to be a good thing. Having a new instructor seemed to refocus Ross. Having a new teacher with new expectations was good for him.

After Ross’ second teacher we also realized that he did better with a male teacher. A great swim program director can find a great teacher for your specific child so be sure to change instructors as neccesary and give any feedback (like needing a male instructor) to the director so your child can have the best instructor.

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10 Tips for Taking Your Autistic Child To Disney World

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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.  Thank you for supporting my blog.

It’s time to go on vacation!  And what a fun place Disney World is to go.  Our oldest son Ross has autism and we have had several successful trips to Walt Disney World with him and his brothers.  We have learned a few things along the way and I hope you will find some of these tips and tricks helpful as you plan your trip.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

That may be the motto of every parent of a child with autism.  The more you can prepare yourself and your child for your trip the better.  One of my biggest concerns with my son was getting through the airport.  Our therapists prepared a visual schedule that walked Ross through the airport including potential pitfalls like putting his beloved stuffed panda bear on the conveyor belt to be screened.  We also looked at pictures of the hotel and bus to the hotel ahead of time so the Ross would know what it looked like.

In addition we spent a lot of time researching which attractions he would probably like.  While we let him and his brothers pick where they wanted to go we guided their choices knowing which attractions were the most likely to be successful.  We used the Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World and Disney World’s Attraction Details for Guests with Cognitive Disabilities to help us sort through the plethora of attractions at WDW.  This second guide is a chart that shows the length of a ride, element of surprise and various other features.  It is incredibly helpful to picking rides if you are new to the park.  Disney World also has a planning guide with lots of tips for planning your trip as well.

Calm and Regulate

Travelling can cause dysregulation.  Disney World can be loud and visually overstimulating.  We brought noise cancelling headphones for Ross including a pair that hooked up to blue tooth (Worktunes) so that if he needed to totally escape he could watch a movie through the ear phones.  These were awesome when he was just done and we were exiting the park or on the buses and monorail.  We also used a stroller with a large hood, the City Mini, where he could essentially hide from the visual over-stimulation that Disney often is.  Definitely also make sure to bring any other regulating tools such as fidgets and chewies that you usually use with you.

Keep Everything As Normal As Possible

This seems like a bit of an oxymoron for a vacation but the more that can stay the same as home the better.  The first year we went to Disney we brought Ross’ stroller from home.  The second time we rented the exact same model and prepped him that it might be a different color.  Knowing that it would be his usual stroller was very calming to him.  We also brought single serve milk boxes from home so that we were sure we could get his usual type, brought LEGOs that he loved and all our Captain Underpants books.

disney world tips

Get The Accommodations That You Need

Disney World offers a few great options for accommodations to help make your trip smoother.  The first is the Disability Access Pass.  Essentially instead of waiting in line you are able to check in at an attraction and get a return time.  You can then return anytime at or after the return time.  For us being able to return any time later in the day versus the two hour window of the Fast Pass was helpful in case Ross needed to take a break during the day.  To get a disability access pass you go to Disney World Guest Relations and they will walk you through the process.  The first time we went to Disney World I brought all our diagnostic paperwork but they never looked at it.  It turns out the program is need based and not based on any particular diagnoses.

We have also used the stroller as wheelchair tags.  It is helpful for Ross to stay in his stroller when he is starting to get overwhelmed or a little nervous and this tag allows the stroller to go wherever a wheelchair can.  For going through the airport there is the TSA Cares program.  We have not personally used it yet but those who have used the “walk through” program have found it very helpful.

Ask for Help

Disney cast members (what Disney calls all staff) can guide and help you and are always willing to do so.  If your child needs to take a break from it all just ask and they will direct you to the nearest break spot (these are also listed here).  Cast members can also assist in finding dietary options if your child has intolerances, allergies or other specialized needs.  The can also sometimes bend the rules a bit.  Our first trip we didn’t have a stroller as wheelchair tag (I didn’t know about it yet) but Ross couldn’t get out of his stroller due to anxiety at Chef Mickey’s.  I asked at the check in desk and they were able to switch our table to one that was able to accomnodate his stroller.

Do NOT have FOMO

I’m saying this to you, the parent or caregiver.  You are not missing out because you didn’t go on the newest ride and if you don’t tell your children how many characters or rides there are they won’t fear that they are missing out when they get tired and leave early.  Disney World is hard because you have to balance being relaxed and go with the flow with also needing to be well scheduled both because of the needs of your child and the necessity of the Disney Fastpass system and reservations.  Having FOMO (the fear of missing out on things) will not help you balance these already sometimes opposing needs.

Have a Plan B

Trips rarely go as planned.  Disney World is no exception.  Having a plan, or plans, in case your child turns out to be scared of Mickey Mouse (it happened to one of my twins the first time we went) or everyone is getting overheated is important.  The same goes for knowing your exit strategy.  When Ross is done for the day, he’s done.  Sensory overload is not easy to overcome after a point and it is not worth pushing it for us.  When that happened it was important to our family to know which parent would take him back to the hotel and for Ross to know too.  We have two other children who also needed to know that plan.

Find Something Your Child Will Love, Even If It Is Off The Beaten Path, And Stick To It

Somewhere deep in a Disney chat room I heard about the Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom attraction.  You check in at the Magic Kingdom firehouse, get playing cards (that you can also collect) and a map, and are then sent on quest to find various “portals” throughout the Magic Kingdom and eventually defeat a Disney villain.  It’s an amazing interactive treasure hunt full of Disney Magic.  Ross loved it!  He cared far more about finding the portals then going on Space Mountain or any other ride and although it wasn’t the “average” way to spend a good chunk of day at the Magic Kingdom it was tons of fun and it was great to see him engaged and excited.  I read a  blog post by someone whose autistic son only wanted to go on the Dumbo ride.  While the parent was a little bored he said he was happy that his son found something he really liked about Disney World so they stuck with it.  We did the same with Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom.  We searched all over the park for villains until it was time to go see Elena of Avalor, his other favorite!

Change Your Expectations

The first time we went to Disney Ross spent at least 75% of the time in the parks in his stroller.  He engaged far less than I expected (at least in the traditional, neurotypical sense) and seemed far less enthusiastic then his younger brothers.  But, he spent the next 12ish months talking about how great it was, telling stories and asking when we were going back.  I had expected him to engage in a particular, more traditional way but he engaged and enjoyed it in his own way.

Also, from a caregiver perspective accept that you will likely come home far more exhausted than we left.  I like to remind my husband (when he whines about vacation being tiring) that “it’s a trip not a vacation” for the parents sometimes.  While Disney World is awesome there is a lot of work involved!

I hope you have an amazing trip to Disney World!  I’d love to have you join our email list, and you’ll even get a free IEP worksheet when you join!

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