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What Going To Disney World With My Autistic Son Taught Me About Parenting

May 17, 2020 By Laura Epstein

My oldest son, Ross, has autism.  He was diagnosed when he was 3 and is now a happy, thriving 6 year old who just started kindergarten.  Last spring we took my son with autism to Disney World.  My Husband, my boys, my mother and father in law, my sister in law and her husband and I all headed to Orlando to go on a new adventure to Disney World.  This adventure  went far better than I had expected.  Honestly, I had set very low expectations for the trip and especially for how much Ross was going to like it.  I was pleasantly surprised by how engaged my son was and how much he liked Disney World, especially Magic Kingdom and Epcot.  I was also surprised by what I learned as a parent and how it changed how I parent all three of my boys.

It’s Hard To Accept That He Is Different, But I Need To

I think Ross spent 75% of the time in Disney World in his stroller.  Most of that time he had noise cancelling headphones on and Netflix videos were playing through the bluetooth in the headphones for part of that.  BUT, he loved it.  A few years ago I would have prodded him to get out of the stroller and experience the parks the same way my neurotypical boys do.  I would have tried to get him to go on rides or see more movies and he probably would have melted down.  He was actually quite happy sitting in his stroller, looking around, hopping out for the occasional character.  He also became obsessed with trading pins.  This was the perfect activity for him and actually didn’t end up as terribly expensive as I expected.   In the last three years I have had to learn to accept that he will experience things in his own way and that he enjoys things in his own way.  He still talks about how amazing his trip to Disney World was and I’m glad I got over myself and let him decide how he wanted to experience it.

Being a Little Pushy is Ok

On our third day in Disney World the kids, my husband and I had reservations to Chef Mickey’s restaurant at the Contemporary Hotel.  When we got there we discovered that strollers had to be parked outside and there was no way that Ross was getting out of his stroller.  Ross was over stimulated from the parks and on the verge of melting down all the time but was also super excited to have brunch with Mickey.  We were at an impasse.  I had gone up to the desk when we arrived and asked if  strollers were allowed and they said no.  In desperation I asked my husband if we should just go and explain the situation.  I always fear being too pushy or asking too much but he doesn’t fear these things at all.  So he asked if we could bring the stroller for Ross in and explained his situation and they said yes.  My fear of being pushy or of judgement had always stopped Ross from being able to go in to what became his favorite part of Disney.  Note: I later found out you can get a “Stroller as a Wheelchair” pass for Disney and could have avoided the whole situation.

(Sometimes) IDGAF

As Dua Lipa says, “I don’t give a f***”.  Ok, maybe I do a little but I’m trying to care less.  Back to that third day at Disney and we got a table with a wheelchair spot at Chef Mickey’s and all was fine.  Ross doesn’t like many new foods so was totally uninterested in eating.  He sat in his stroller with the hood up and his headphones on.  And people looked and, at least in my head, they judged.   

So I took a deep breath and decided that IDGAF.  This happened more than once in the course of the trip.  From choosing bubbles over characters to melting down when someone cut in the water slide line I decided to take the approach that IDGAF what others thought.  I was going to help my sons have the best vacation possible and not let others bother me.

I Need to Ask For Help

Perhaps the biggest thing I learned at Disney that made me a better parent was that I need to ask for help.  I tend to try to do it all.  Whether it was asking for help from Disney cast members or from my in-laws (they watched the kids several nights so my husband and I could have dinner alone) we could not have made it through Disney without lots of support.  When I got back to the “real world” I tried to remember this lesson and ask for help because it’s definitely a lot easier.

This article was originally entitled “What Going To Disney World With My Autistic Son Taught Me About Special Needs Parenting” but I think all of these parenting lessons I learned taking my son with autism to Disney World apply just as much to my neurotypical children as my son with autism. 

Feel free to reach out to me if you need help navigating Disney World with an autistic son or daughter.  Be sure to check out my article on being an autism mom and grab your free IEP worksheet by signing up for my newsletter below too.

What going To Disney World Taught Me About Parenting

Filed Under: Special Needs Parenting Tagged With: ASD, Autism, Autism Spectrum Disorder, disney world, tips

Why You Should Send Your Child With Autism to Summer Camp

June 5, 2019 By Laura Epstein

why you should send your child with autism to summer camp

Every year my oldest son Ross goes to day camp.  Every summer he has a blast, makes new friends and learns amazing new skills.  He has autism and is currently six years old but has gained so much by going to day camp every year.  Camp, day or overnight, can be an amazing place for children with special needs including autism.  Here are my big reasons why you should consider sending your child with autism to summer camp:

To Learn New “Camp” Skills

The list of skills that a child with autism will learn at camp is extensive and varied.  Camps offer everything from archery to cooking and more.  The best part about these skills isn’t that your child learns to start a campfire but that they are a great way to build self confidence.  Ross has gotten pretty good at swimming by going to day camp and he’s super proud of this skill.  It’s been amazing to watch him really feel great about himself about an activity.  He’s never really shown interest in a sport before and during the year he doesn’t have a lot of time to do extracurricular activities because of his therapy

To Learn Life Skills

Camp is also the first time Ross got on a bus and the first time he got himself (mostly) changed by himself to go swimming everyday.  He keeps track of his own stuff at camp and has learned to do so many things more independently.  He is well supported by his counselor but his activities of daily living skills as well as his confidence to do them also improves.

To Improve Strength and Motor Skills

Ross, like other children with autism, struggles with coordination issues as well as core strength.  The constant running, games, swimming, obstacle courses and more help Ross with his gross motor skills and strength every summer.  It’s like sending him to occupational therapy eight hours a day without him knowing (and sometimes complaining) about having to work on his strength.

To Get Near Constant Social Interaction

This was the part that worried me the most about Ross going to camp.  The social interactions at school are, for the most part, more organized than those at camp.  There are lots of informal social interaction, lots of games and other social interaction that needs to be navigated.  With the help of his one to one aide Ross is able to navigate these situations with his neurotypical peers.  He not only survived the social interaction (as I had feared he wouldn’t) but he has made some amazing friends and lasting relationships with his counselors.

To Feel a Sense of Belonging

There is something different about camp.  It is more inclusive, less judgemental and they will feel like they belong there.  Ross has relayed this to me in his own way and I can see it in the way he acts when we visit camp.

Sending my child with autism to summer camp was a leap of faith after months of researching.  Finding a camp that will support your child with autism can sometimes be overwhelming.  There are day and overnight camps, inclusion programs, camps geared solely towards those with special needs and autism and even more option in terms of camps for children with autism.  We were lucky to find the

JCC Chicago and Keshet to be a great fit for Ross.  I would encourage anyone with a child with autism to strongly explore what options are available in your area because for Ross his summers have truly been life changing.

Has your child with autism been to camp?  How did they like it?  Tell me in the comments below then check out my articles on great books for parents of kids with autism and ways to trick your child into better fine motor skills!

 

Why you should send your child with autism to camp

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Filed Under: Special Needs Parenting Tagged With: ASD, Autism, Autism Spectrum Disorder, tips

5 Great Sensory Tools for Autism

September 28, 2018 By Laura Epstein

5 Great Sensory Tools for Autism

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.  Thank you for supporting my blog.

There are some great sensory tools available for children with autism.  Whether your child is a sensory seeker, avoider or some of each there are great tools out there to help your child better regulate their system.  Here are five tools that have helped my son.

Weighted Lap Pads

Weighted lap pads are a great way to calm an upset child or help with focus.  Plain fabric lap pads are great for in the classroom.  They can help with focus when children are sitting in a circle or at the desk.  For younger children weighted stuffed animals are a great animal.  When my son was three and four he had a “heavy kitty” at school which he loved.  The weighted cat combined with his cube chair helped him sit calmly in circle time.  Make sure you chose a weight appropriate for your child (your OT can help or most sites have a guide)

weighted lap pad

Chewies

For kids with oral sensory needs there are an array of chewies out there.  They come in the form of pencil toppers, chewable jewelry and more.  Currently we have had a lot of success with block necklaces (my son is a LEGO fanatic) and chewy bracelets but in the past we’ve had robots, dinosaurs and trains too.

sensory tools for autism

Putties

Putties can also be a great regulating tool.  Putties come in various consistencies depending on how tough you want it to be for your little one to knead the putty.  They also come with themes and items in them and sometimes they are scented. I like to hide coins or trinkets in the putty and then have my son dig it out.  Putties also have the added advantage that they are hand strengtheners as well.

Fidgets

We’ve all seen them (and maybe been annoyed by some of them) but fidgets really are a great tool for helping with concentration and sensory regulation.  My son likes fidgets like the tangle juior and hairy tangle junior but fidgets do everything from squsensory tools for autismish, vibrate to spin.

 

Resistance Tunnels

Resistance are another great sensory tool.  They are a great way to get kids moving and doing some heavy work and take up virtually no space when not in use.  All three of my kids love their rocketship resistance tunnel but this is just one option.

sensory tools for autism

I hope some of these sensory tools work for your family!  What other sensory tools have you used?

[Read more…] about 5 Great Sensory Tools for Autism

Filed Under: Special Needs Parenting Tagged With: Autism, sensory tools, tips

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About Laura

Messy Bun Life

The Messy Bun Life is a parenting blog primarily authored by Laura Epstein. We are here to support all … ...read more about About The Messy Bun Life

Recent Posts

  • Why I Don’t Treat My Children Equally
  • 15 Great Toys for Fine Motor Skill Development
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  • 20 MORE Easy Activities For Fine Motor Skill Development
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